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Showing posts from December, 2015

I didn't plan to get divorced.

I didn’t plan to get divorced.

It wasn’t part of the “plan” I “foresaw” for my life.

I held onto my marriage for as long as I could. Faked my way through being happy, pretending everything was hunky-dory, even made up some stories along the way to make people think that I was ok, that our marriage was good.

I told everyone how the first year of marriage was hard, but it seemed to get better in year two or three. If I’m being honest, that was a lie. It never got better. There were good days, maybe even a good week, but never a good “year.” It never got better.

I told myself he needed to finish grad school, find a new job, we needed to add to our family, make more money – then finally, we would be ok, but it didn’t seem to come.

I never told you about the tears. The anxiety. The pain. I never told you about how I would pray that the next year, the next month, the next week, the next day, the next hour – would be better. I would cry in the bathroom, the closet, next to my bed – any…

One year.

One year ago this week, my divorce was finalized.

One year ago, and within the next 3 weeks, I was engaged to a widower.

A lot of life has happened in the past 2 years and I am just beginning to catch up. I was remarried in May 2015, had my beautiful baby girl in September 2015 - and am now mother to a 5 year old and 3 month old.

Life....the minutes on the clock...just tick tick tick.

And here I am today - a result of the mended pieces with so much life in front of me, and so much, oh so much, behind me.

This forum is for me to release all that has happened in my past, and how to deal with where things are at. My family situation is interesting, and one that you cannot find a lot about. I married a widower and I am also a result of a fairly young divorce.

I created this blog a little while back in different blogging tools, and even wrote a first post, as I love to express myself through writing. It has taken me until today to feel like I can air what I want to air. Knowing that a full yea…