The Mended Pieces

Hey you... Yes. I'm talking to you. The one reading all of my social media, perusing my social media, wondering what happened to me. I see you. I see you reading my posts, looking at my Facebook, combing my Instagram - wondering how me, the person you thought you knew got divorced, remarried, and had a kid. I know you have questions for me. I know you want to know what went wrong, what did he do wrong, what did I do,  were you engaged before you found out your pregnant (yes), or what type of information I'm going to share on here. I'm going to tell you this.... It's none of your business. I have been through a lot. My 1st marriage was a series of happy Facebook posts and pretending like I had it altogether. My inside (sad, upset, depressed, anxious) did not match my outside (fake happy! the pictures!). Psst. Can I tell you a secret? Actually - it is not really a secret....MY INSIDES MATCH MY OUTSIDES NOW! My insides are happy! Excited! Can't wait to se...

What do you do when.... ...you are driving with your one year old down the highway (Just you and her) and you are on your way to the doctor's office, and your daughter is coughing so hard and she throws up all over herself? And let's just say, she throws up curdled whole milk...and oh yeah, you pulled the extra set of clothes out of her diaper bag the other day because you wanted her to wear the cute baby "joggers." ...you are out shopping with your one year old and you have to go the bathroom and you have no stroller, you can't bring the cart into the bathroom, and your daughter gets into everything? (do you have her sit in your lap when you go to the bathroom? I mean, were these restrooms designed by a MAN!?) Or...you stop at a gas station on your way to camping in Itasca, and you have to change the baby's diaper, so you get out the changing pad, put it on the floor of the dingy bathroom (that is surprisingly clean). Change her diaper, and then you hav...

I am only a month and a half into having a kid in elementary school, and I have already figured out one thing - I cannot keep up. I can be sent reminders a million times but I STILL FORGET. I am going to blame it on having a one year old and a Kindergartner - the distance  between the two can be mind numbing, but really, I think it is more of a personal problem. The fourth week of school, I sent Logan to school on a Monday with his Friday folder STILL in his backpack, totally intact. In other words, my husband flipped through the folder on Friday night and ended up putting it back in his backpack to keep it away from Zoey. Well, there it sat...and was sent back home again on Monday night with Logan exclaiming "MOM, You forgot to take the papers out so my teacher sent it back home." Or maybe it was this past week, when it was "orange day" at school to promote unity. I KNEW I should have invested in that $10 shirt sold through the school so we wouldn't forget,...

Dear Logan, Today (10/16) you are 6 years old!! I cannot believe how BIG you are getting (and honestly, where has the time gone!?). You and I didn't get to start out where other mothers and sons do, that is, in talking about the day you were born. Instead, our story started when I met your daddy, and shortly thereafter, I met you. When I met you,  you were just 3 years old + a few months. You already had been through a lot in your short little life, more then ANY kid should have to go through. I remember, I shared a "cutie" orange with you, and you played with some planes you had with. The 2nd time I saw you, I brought you a garbage truck Duplo, and I think I pretty much won you over with that gift. You had a TON of toys (still do), and your house was a mess of your toys (ours still is). Our relationship has grown, to the point where I got to marry you in May of 2015 (daddy is still waiting for you to pay him for your part of the ring! ;) ). You have taught me abo...

Dear Zoey – Today you are one year old. 365 days have passed since you entered the world, and it has been by far some of the best and hardest days of my life. I remember being told on Friday afternoon, September 18, 2015, my dad (your grandpa’s) birthday, that my blood pressure was too high at 2 consecutive readings and they wanted to induce me the following day. I remember leaving elated, but overwhelmed because you were going to be 2 weeks early! I remember leaving with your daddy from the doctor’s office, trying to make plans of what we needed to do in the next 24 hours before we could check into the hospital to meet you. I remember calling my mom (your grandma) and freaking out because we were going to meet you. And then also calling your “bonus” grandparents, Grandma and Grandpa Lauer, to ask them if your brother could come to their house last minute to spend the weekend with them (which worked out perfect because they wanted him to come with t...

Right now, I am sitting with my daughter, rocking her in her room, and I am stressed out. Stressed because I had 2 mini snicker bars and coffee with creamer today...and a quarter of Logan's cookie from Panera. Stressed because I was going to have both kids in bed by 7:30. Had this little girl in bed by 7:20, kindergartner by 7:30, then baby woke up, so been rocking her on and off (because of course bedtime = party time to babies!) so now it is 7:55 and I'm still here. Stressed because I wanted to get up at 5am  to do a quick work out and the baby woke up at 4am  and fell back asleep at 5:15  and I did too, so no work out happened.  Stressed because I wanted to squeeze in a 30 minute work out, clean bottles, and pack lunches for  tomorrow  (and start studying for my GRE) before my husband gets home. Why am I so stressed about my body? As a woman in her early 30's I have this desire to have m...

Guys.... Life gets so busy. And then it is fall, and school is about to start, and you wonder - where is the first day of summer? Wasn't that just yesterday? I hate to break it to you, but that first day of summer was back in June. And now pools are closing up for the season, and you did not get to take advantage of them for another summer. It is getting dark earlier, so all of those walks and evenings you were going to spend on the deck after the kids went to bed to enjoy the summer sunlight, are gone. And suddenly, your schedule is busier then it was in the summer. Instead of one night of t-ball, there are swimming lessons to do in the evenings again, school and church activities, and your husband returns to class. That list you made at the beginning of the summer of all of the things you were going to accomplish - such as cleaning out some rooms and sorting through piles of papers, is getting tossed aside again. Because, well, time. But then you smell the leaves, t...