I didn't plan to get divorced.
I didn’t plan to get divorced. It wasn’t part of the “plan” I “foresaw” for my life. I held onto my marriage for as long as I could. Faked my way through being happy, pretending everything was hunky-dory, even made up some stories along the way to make people think that I was ok, that our marriage was good. I told everyone how the first year of marriage was hard, but it seemed to get better in year two or three. If I’m being honest, that was a lie. It never got better. There were good days, maybe even a good week, but never a good “year.” It never got better. I told myself he needed to finish grad school, find a new job, we needed to add to our family, make more money – then finally, we would be ok, but it didn’t seem to come. I never told you about the tears. The anxiety. The pain. I never told you about how I would pray that the next year, the next month, the next week, the next day, the next hour – would be better. I would cry in the bathroom, the closet, next ...